Why ?

Remember four years ago, when bitches didnt flock to you and you were "nothing"? Yeah , I remember that too. Remeber how I was always down, always there for you? yeah , I was young but you gotta know id'a took a bullet before I let you go through it alone. & Now it kills me every time you text my phone cause I fell in love with you.
Dont you get it? I see you for everything you are. All those imperfections , the mistakes, everything. and I still love you. To me , your perfect , no matter what anyone says. I love you that much ! and you still dont understand ! I know you dont, because if you did , we wouldnt be here ! My day consist of thinking about you. Your constantly on my mind. I try to sleep at night but I cant because all I think about is you. Im so happy when I see you, but at the same time I die a little inside because I know I'll never have you. Thats all I want.. Is a Chance, something.. Anything. You dont know how much that would mean to me. I cant sleep because your the only thing on my mind. My whole day revolves around you and its not fair. you gave me hope, and made me think for a split second that maybe you felt something , and then you took it away. Just crushed it like it never happened. But why would you do that to me knowing how I feel about you?! How could you do that to me ?! its not fair ! and it hurts! I dont like to cry, but i've cried so many times over you and I dont know why. How can you be so in love with someone who was never yours? I dont get it ! But I am , and I cant help it. Even if I could I dont think I would want to. But my question is "Why" ? Still , why?! am I not good enough, am I too ugly , too fat , too stupid? Is it something that I cant see? Dont tell me that bullshit "we're too close" because thats DEFINATLY not it ! I just want to know why she's so perfect, and im not even close. Do you know how it feels?! You said you went through it before with another... But you havnt felt this ! I wish you could live 2 minutes in my day , feel my pain, see how much I really do love you, and then you fuckin tell me you understand. Im so angry, but im so upset all in the same demener. Its not fair. I love you so much. And I cant even tell you why. Maybe im fuckin crazy, maybe thats why i put your name in my skin.. Maybe im not as sane as I wish I was. But I still love you, and it feels like I always will, because as soon as I think im ready to forget you, I think of you more. Every new relationship, I try to make them you, I try to force them to be JUST LIKE YOU. & thats not fair , not to them or me. I love you.... Why dont you love me?

High School VS. Reality.

In highschool , its the popular vs. the minority. The weak vs. the srong. The Geeks vs. the Jocks. Isn't that right ? Im 16 , I go to West Greene Middle Senior High School.. I cant tell you how different everything is. Constant judging , constant ridiculing. Ridiculous isn't it ? 10 years from now , this isn't going to matter. NONE OF IT. But people dont see that. They also dont see how many lives are destroy because of judgemental people. The rumors , the lies , the constant teasing , dirty looks , jokes , pictures.. But the Reality of it ? People are so miserable with their own pathetic lives that they have to take time out to go "hard" and show how big of an ass they are. But thats considered "cool" isnt it ?! High School is drama , more drama and immaturity. Reality , is Drama , Drama , and immature people trying to be mature. so whats the difference ? The difference is , in Reality  you cant OWN anyone's emotions.. In Highschool  what ever some one thinks of you.. that is your emotion. THATS WHAT YOU ARE. Rise above it , live in Reality.. not in the Highschool world they force you into everyday. 4 years , thats it.. and then your onto better things. Just know that people only critize you , to make themselves feel better. Dont give them the satisfaction. (: