Fake Friends (rap/poem)

You say we're more than just friends, but you pull out a knife
You tried to slash me in the damn back, missed once but hit twice
Friends for life, thats a fuckin straight up lie
You aint gotta clue, about Ride or Die

I’m surrounded by fakes disguised to be true
Telling straight lies, snitchin on me "like yup thats the guy"
Claiming it wasn’t you, behind the line up glass
You straight pointed out to me, to save your own ass

I’d rather sweat hatred , to search out peace
Than spilling gallons of blood, fighting demons in me
The fight continues, frighten the anger within
It’s a full time job, dealing with FAKE ASS FRIENDS

Every time I think I know, what you’ll do next
You end up selling me out, for bullshit or even less
You made you a penny, so Imma say it again
You’re a straight up punk, a FAKE ASS FRIEND

I can sit and formulate this plan I got ahead
Take a sniper shot to the head; make you FAKE ASS DEAD
Now I’m on the run, a fugitive at large

Aint a FAKE ASS FRIEND around, worth taking a charge
Their a dime a dozen, you can find them anywhere
Just don’t get mind fucked, because its buyer beware
It’s a known street rule, don’t say it wasn’t said

Because FAKE ASS FRIENDS, usually wined up dead
But ill take what so called GOD gave me common sense, and walk away It’s a soft ass move,
but Ill write another day Not locked up covered up, dealing with my sins
Nothing wrong with cutting off, a FAKE ASS FRIEND

Aint a chick or dude around, can’t relate to what I’m saying
We all had friends, which were straight perpetrating
Saying they got our back, all the way to the end
blah blah blah same ole same ole, just a FAKE ASS FRIEND

So now I ride solo, I know it’s a risk
If push comes to shove, Ill add my girl to the list
I got the potential to be RICH and FAMOUS, you runnin back trynna make amends
But as I told you before, FUCK FAKE ASS FRIENDS!

That pain :'(

Even if I hated someone , I would NEVER wish this pain on them <|3 That consistant , tear jurking , numbing , restless , undying , bleeding , depressing , unwilling pain. Ya know ? That pain when you pour your heart out to someone , and let down your gaurd for the first time. When you trust that person enough to tell your dreams to.. Or when you start to make future family plans because that's who you want to spend your life with. When you give each other songs because the lyrics are soo perfect & they're all of the words that you can't say <3 When you tell that person you love them & you really mean it.. & they say it back because you two are invincible together. When you have "iloveyoumore" fights & they always end with that perfect kiss. When you stand there with that stupid look on your face because you're arguing over something completely pointless.. Well , that's practically all of the good. people love to tell you about that.. but they forgot to mention the bad.. You know , when the fights start constantly , and you just want to give up on everything ? Or when you feel like shit because you said something to make them upset or to make them mad ? Or when you sit there and think about them while they ignore you & pretend it's nothing , that pain ? Or when you tell them you love them , because you really do , and you care about them soo much it hurts & they call you a liar , that pain ? Or when you cry yourself to sleep every night because you just want everything to go back to the way it was when there was love ? Or when you think all those crazy thoughts , and you start to believe the things people say ? Or when you do something so stupid because you would give your life for them to know how much you love them , and they still dont care.... ? I wouldnt want anyone to feel the pain of realizing someone doesnt love you anymore.. Because it makes you want to kill yourself.. But you dont because , despite the fact that your world just fell apart , you know the sun will still come up tomorrow... Or will it ?

:|

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt inside? When you told them you loved them they didn't believe you and called you a liar? Have you ever felt that pain? I gave my all to someone, and it looks like they just let me fall. I need this person, because they mean the world to me. For them to not believe that, makes me crazy. I would do anything to prove it to them. I know what you're thinking. If you have to prove your love, it isn't love. Well, I would rather have to prove it than to go on with this very special person thinking I don't love them. This is crazy.. It hurts so much.

here comes the sun , by the beatles. I love this song !!

Why ?

Remember four years ago, when bitches didnt flock to you and you were "nothing"? Yeah , I remember that too. Remeber how I was always down, always there for you? yeah , I was young but you gotta know id'a took a bullet before I let you go through it alone. & Now it kills me every time you text my phone cause I fell in love with you.
Dont you get it? I see you for everything you are. All those imperfections , the mistakes, everything. and I still love you. To me , your perfect , no matter what anyone says. I love you that much ! and you still dont understand ! I know you dont, because if you did , we wouldnt be here ! My day consist of thinking about you. Your constantly on my mind. I try to sleep at night but I cant because all I think about is you. Im so happy when I see you, but at the same time I die a little inside because I know I'll never have you. Thats all I want.. Is a Chance, something.. Anything. You dont know how much that would mean to me. I cant sleep because your the only thing on my mind. My whole day revolves around you and its not fair. you gave me hope, and made me think for a split second that maybe you felt something , and then you took it away. Just crushed it like it never happened. But why would you do that to me knowing how I feel about you?! How could you do that to me ?! its not fair ! and it hurts! I dont like to cry, but i've cried so many times over you and I dont know why. How can you be so in love with someone who was never yours? I dont get it ! But I am , and I cant help it. Even if I could I dont think I would want to. But my question is "Why" ? Still , why?! am I not good enough, am I too ugly , too fat , too stupid? Is it something that I cant see? Dont tell me that bullshit "we're too close" because thats DEFINATLY not it ! I just want to know why she's so perfect, and im not even close. Do you know how it feels?! You said you went through it before with another... But you havnt felt this ! I wish you could live 2 minutes in my day , feel my pain, see how much I really do love you, and then you fuckin tell me you understand. Im so angry, but im so upset all in the same demener. Its not fair. I love you so much. And I cant even tell you why. Maybe im fuckin crazy, maybe thats why i put your name in my skin.. Maybe im not as sane as I wish I was. But I still love you, and it feels like I always will, because as soon as I think im ready to forget you, I think of you more. Every new relationship, I try to make them you, I try to force them to be JUST LIKE YOU. & thats not fair , not to them or me. I love you.... Why dont you love me?

High School VS. Reality.

In highschool , its the popular vs. the minority. The weak vs. the srong. The Geeks vs. the Jocks. Isn't that right ? Im 16 , I go to West Greene Middle Senior High School.. I cant tell you how different everything is. Constant judging , constant ridiculing. Ridiculous isn't it ? 10 years from now , this isn't going to matter. NONE OF IT. But people dont see that. They also dont see how many lives are destroy because of judgemental people. The rumors , the lies , the constant teasing , dirty looks , jokes , pictures.. But the Reality of it ? People are so miserable with their own pathetic lives that they have to take time out to go "hard" and show how big of an ass they are. But thats considered "cool" isnt it ?! High School is drama , more drama and immaturity. Reality , is Drama , Drama , and immature people trying to be mature. so whats the difference ? The difference is , in Reality  you cant OWN anyone's emotions.. In Highschool  what ever some one thinks of you.. that is your emotion. THATS WHAT YOU ARE. Rise above it , live in Reality.. not in the Highschool world they force you into everyday. 4 years , thats it.. and then your onto better things. Just know that people only critize you , to make themselves feel better. Dont give them the satisfaction. (: